Thursday, March 27, 2014

INTERPRETING METRO'S PROPAGANDA

I can't seem to let go of this bit from the Metro website (from this post).  It contains so much editorial (called "marketing") and vague statements of "fact".

Why is transit important?
Great cities have great transit systems. The St. Louis region is a
wonderful place in which to live, work, and play, but in recent decades
its population and job growth has stagnated. To change this, the
region must move forward and boldly redefine itself as a catalyst for
entrepreneurism, an attractor of talented young professionals, and a
place that considers the needs of all its citizens. Transit alone will not
make this happen, but it does play a vital role in shaping the region’s
quality of life and growing its economy. Here’s how . . .
Transit moves thousands of
people every day to work,
school, and life:
More than 50 million times
each year, someone boards a
MetroBus, MetroLink train or
Metro Call-A-Ride van
Most Metro customers ride to
work or school
Metro customers in Missouri alone
earn more than $2.2 billion in wages
annually
Metro carries nearly 2 million riders a a
year to special events

Let's break this down OPT IN STL style:

"Great cities have great transit systems."
Move to Paris if you want a great transit system.  Or Chicago.

"The St. Louis region is a wonderful place in which to live, work, and play, but in recent decades its population and job growth has stagnated."
We don't have to explain that this is great place.  Like the author of this document, a big chunk of your paycheck must come from promoting the City of St. Louis.  Hell, we don't even have to ride the bus if we want to go to the zoo or out to eat or to City Museum.  We make enough money to buy a car. And eat. And own a house.  In a neighborhood without any bus lines.

If you live in College Hill, have never traveled, and feel lucky that you didn't get shot at walking to the local store, passing block after block of crumbling, neglected, buildings, to try to find something to eat on your $5.00 worth of food stamps, riding the bus with your last $6 and 4 to 6 hours of your time to apply for a job that pays minimum wage, you understand what we mean,right? WONDERFUL PLACE!
Now, for the second half of this sentence: "recent decades means in the last twenty years or more."  So if you are under 20, you don't remember when the region hadn't stagnated in population or job growth.  

In fact, if you are over 20, you may not remember that.  But hey, it's Metro's job to make this place sound great, and also make it clear that the inefficient transit system is not our fault! Jeesh, we're a bunch of Metro executives! We go home at 5 o'clock, and not on the bus!

To change this, the
region must move forward and boldly redefine itself as a catalyst for
entrepreneurism, an attractor of talented young professionals, and a
place that considers the needs of all its citizens.

To change this "the region" must move forward. It's not Metro's responsibility,  It's dependent on "THE REGION".

Region:
1.an extensive, continuous part of a surface, space, or body: a region of the earth.

We also don't know what it means to"boldly redefine" ourselves, here at Metro.  We just follow the same transit plan that every other city is following. We can barely keep the current transit system running, even with the 2.5 million in additional fares we are going to be jacking you for, over the next two years.

But we do know that "the region" need to become the "catalyst" 

Catalyst
1. a substance that causes a chemical reaction to happen more quickly, 2.a person or event that quickly causes change or action)
"For entrepreneurism"
1.a person who organizes and manages any enterprise, especially a business, usually with considerable initiative and risk.
2.an employer of productive labor; contractor.

"An attractor of talented young professionals" :
Okay, transit rider, that does NOT MEAN YOU. In fact, you are the person we are going to sell to those "talented young professionals" for cheap labor (incarceration by lack of public transit) so that they can realize their dreams of riches and fame!
And now, for the last line, my favorite part (sarcasm alert!):

"
and a place that considers the needs of all its citizens":

Look, people, we already explained that we only consider the needs of citizens that were born wealthy or have money!  We proved that when put a train line to Shrewsbury for Richard Gephardt's people to ride to Cardinals and Blues games downtown, instead of a train in North St. Louis.

Stop complaining, at least you can get to your minimum wage job.  What else were you going to do with that four to six hours a day you spend on the bus?

When we say "all of its citizens" we only mean the Slays and the Nations and the other wealthy white men in the "Good Ole Boy Network" Gang.

We at Metro spend a lot of time and money writing this crap, we can't be expected to provide good service, too!

More than 50 million times
each year, someone boards a
MetroBus, MetroLink train or
Metro Call-A-Ride van

We can count boardings, so this number is probably pretty accurate.It's really the only thing we at Metro can count accurately, without doing some actual work-- like riding the buses and trains and conducting rider surveys, etc.

Most Metro customers ride to
work or school

This is pretty obvious.  Where do most people go everyday? We at Metro just like to brag and we paid someone in marketing to come up with as many statistical blurbs that make us look good as possible.

Metro customers in Missouri alone
earn more than $2.2 billion in wages
annually

We pulled this number out of our *ss.  We gather almost no information from our customers.  This is based on statistical models.  As Mark Twain famously said "Lies, damned lies, and statistics."

Metro carries nearly 2 million riders a a
year to special events

We mean Mardi Gras and the Muny shuttle and stuff. We don't ever create shuttles for jobs or jobs fairs.  We can't actually count how many individual people ride, just that we have 2 million boardings for those special shuttles.  We also don't bother to tell you if that 2 million is included in the 50 million statistic for overall boardings per year.

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